The first step in my journey of becoming an alien was getting divorced after a years-long marriage.
First I lost the connection with someone I spent the majority of my adult life with. Then I lost our shared friend group as well, but I didn’t even feel sorry about it because I only became friends with them to please my ex in the first place. Do you know how people pretend to be friends while having nothing in common and listen to each other’s stories just to be able to tell their own in return, so they don’t feel lonely and cast-off? This was that kind of friendship.
Back then I was still just a typical, slightly overweight, sedentary, not-too-healthy IT guy with a high-paying job, good education, and no real interests besides work, family and a couple of vacations a year. By real I mean something I genuinely got excited about, not things I was doing just to keep myself busy. Don’t get me wrong, I had a few little hobbies. They did keep me busy and induced the feeling that I’m doing something. They also provided me enough topics of conversation with other people.
However such a dramatic change as getting divorced changed my life in an unpredictable way.
First, I started paying attention to my health. I have internalized that my quality of life is going to only get worse with time if I don’t take control over my health into my own hands rather than rely on doctors, and I absolutely didn’t want a subpar life. Next, I started paying more attention to my looks. I wanted to get back on the dating market one day and feel attractive. So I changed my diet (still not plant-based back then, but as healthy as it gets from a carnivore’s perspective) and started working out. A lot. Being a very disciplined and dedicated person with the right motivation, I got 20 pounds lighter and more muscular and toned in just about 4 months.
I was excited by the positive changes happening to my health. I stopped avoiding mirrors. I also started getting flattering compliments from women. Endorphins kicked in, dramatically increasing my energy levels and improving my mood. As satisfying as that was, it only gave me the motivation to work on myself harder. I decided to train more for strength, while toning was a nice side benefit rather than the main goal. I got into competitive powerlifting and set my first national record just one year later. At that point, I got extremely serious about my training and started spending an average of 12 hours a week in the gym lifting weights plus doing some conditioning on top. Around the same time, I met a woman who introduced me to the plant-based diet and I converted overnight going cold turkey and ditching all the animal products I found in the fridge. This woman and I didn’t work out, but the plant-based diet stuck. I got extremely serious and passionate about nutrition, exercise, supplementation, natural lifestyle and their effect on longevity and looks. With my scientific background (I spent a few years in the academy, doing various researches in Natural Sciences, co-authored a number of papers in reputable science magazines), I decided to research the topics mentioned above to the extent where I was able to make it an applied science. Many people around me viewed me as a role model and an inspiration. I was thrilled to help others become healthier, stronger and happier and decided to take it to the next level. I got certified as a personal trainer by the National Academy of Sports Medicine, and the gym where I was used to workout hired me as a part-time personal trainer (I didn’t quit my day job). I also started working on creating an information portal for the natural plant-based active lifestyle in my free time (you can imagine that I don’t have much of it) to help people who struggle to figure out what applies personally to them, based on age, health situation and physical activity.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I am really passionate about something. It unquestionably became my life mission and as a result, the main topic of my conversations. Believe me, I am still capable of having a conversation about practically anything, anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m very well-rounded, but if you ask me what I really want to talk about, it will be this, my burning passion. And then I realized that I don’t really have a genuinely interested audience in my ecosystem. I also realized that I’m not interested in most conversations that are commonplace in that same ecosystem. It was absolutely mutual. Have you ever tried talking to normal IT guys, or just average middle-class suburban people in general, about competitive sports, natural lifestyle, longevity and/or nutrition? Or to typical (carnivore) bodybuilders about the plant-based diet? Then you probably know what I mean, unless you don’t live in my universe…
Omitting the boring details, four years into my amazing (I mean it) journey, I successfully transformed into a healthy, happy, energetic, strong, young-looking man, with real passion and meaning, but also, I became an alien. I became lonely. I’m stuck in the suburbs (maybe this is the main issue?). I’m alone on Friday nights because my old friends don’t care about what I care about, not even in the slightest. Because of my lifestyle and location, I don’t have an opportunity to make new friends. I don’t date because I can’t find interesting athletic WFPB girls in my vicinity. I spend my nights alone and go on vacation solo. I feel so different that sometimes it’s like I am the only species of my kind in the whole world.
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